Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Brought to you by the letter...

So one of the things on my list is to take a picture for every letter of the alphabet. Well, after giving it some serious thought in addition to flipping through various pages online of photographers who specialize in this, I decided, "Eh, I'm not doing it". Instead, I'm going to list my favorite things alphabetically (with pictures - who wants to actually read something when they can just look at pictures, right?). Here we go:

A  Alice in Wonderland. By far one of the betchiest Disney characters of all time. Apple Products. Can you live without your iPhone, iPad, iPod (well yes because this isn't 2004),  MacBook Pro (ok I don't have one, but that's what my bf is for), Apple TV, iHome? It may seem a bit excessive but Apple products will change your life.

B Bows - on my clothes, on my wrist, on my fingers, dangling from my neck or earlobes. Bows in my hair, tying presents, on pillows, shoes, or purses. Put a bow on it. It will make it look a MILLION times better. I swear. Betch as a lifestyle. Not sure what I mean by that? Click for all things Betchy. Bubble Baths. Seriously. How good does that bath look? Wine, bubbles, a garden tub...what more could you possibly want in life? Oh yeah, more bows. Birthdays. My favorite holiday, by far. It's a day where literally the world revolves around you. You don't have to worry about what you eat - because calories don't exist. You don't have to worry about getting other people gifts (this ain't Christmas). You don't have to worry about being nice or thoughtful - because it's YOUR day. I was also born on Father's Day, the best present I could have possibly given my Dad. I'm also really good at giving gifts, so if it's your birthday and you're on my good side, you might get a little somethin somethin...and it will be AWESOME.


C Chicago - A place I almost went to Grad School. A place with an entire mile of shopping. A place where your pizza is as deep as the river that runs through the city. Swoon. I have a love affair with that place, if you can't tell. Chandelier Bar in Las Vegas. Champagne. Someone recently asked me: Mimosa or Bellini? I said, "neither just give me the bottle and get out of my face". And last but certainly not least: Cheese (the dairy product as well as my boyfriend's silly nickname).

D Disney. I freaking love it. Can't get enough. Growing up outside of Orlando will do that to you. Walt Disney: Genius. Disney animation: Pixar can't even come close. The Magic Kingdom: Legit the happiest place on earth. And I swear if I don't go to the brand new Fantasyland soon, I'm gonna throw a fit (like the Queen of Hearts..."All ways here are the Queens Way" - Such a wise woman). Diamonds. The really big, sparkly rocks and my sorostitutes. My parents paid good money for you...What up sisters <>!!! Drake. Love him...mainly because he gave me a shout out at his concert one time. If you don't believe me, I have witnesses..."Girl in the brown shirt, I see you right there," -Drizzy.

E Egypt. I know it's technically not the safest place in the world right now, but I want to, I need to, I HAVE to go there. I truly believe I'm Cleopatra's third cousin twice removed and about hundreds of years younger. I mean, have you seen me do cat eyes? Another fact to support this claim - I look better with dark hair than I do blonde. This proves it. I'm obviously Egyptian and I need to visit my homeland. Ellen. Homegirl can dance. She's witty. She's rich. She's famous. She's in love. Role Model. Etsy. Damn you for creating a site where people can sell cute things that I can't make...handmade jewelry, monogrammed baby crap, customized hangers...here's one of my favorite Etsy items. Not the pirate, the headband.

F Frozen bevs. I'd prefer if all drinks could come frozen. Do not, I repeat DO NOT let me loose in a place like Fat Tuesday's or Wet Willies. I will pass out with my drink clutched to my hand (probably getting frostbite). Fat Apps. One of the greatest contributions the city of Tampa made, was introducing me to a gentleman with a strong affinity to use the Fat App. A app that takes your face and stretches it in certain points to make you obese. This man showed me an entire album on his iPhone....literally 75 pictures of nothing but his friends + Fat App. Feast your eyes on my double chin. I guess I need to lay off the Kalteen Bars.

G Gossip Girl. What show can strong you along for 6 seasons, not giving you even the slightest hint about who GG actually is. When GG was actually revealed, it was like, "Oh duh. The only one who can actually write. The outsider wanting to be an insider. The one with a weird love/hate relationship with Serena. I mean, she got the brunt of the blasts. Funny enough it was all rainbows and unicorns when they were dating, but every time a new guy sprung into her life, GG was full of fire and brimstone towards SVW. Totes makes sense. Gasparilla. A weekend where it is socially acceptable for grown folks to dress like, talk like, and drink like Pirates. Arrrrrrrrgh mateys...if ye be a landlover or sea urchin, make ye way to the Shore of the Bay (Bayshore Blvd) for a swashbuckling good time. P.S. Check out the badass cooler I painted for my main man.


H Handstands. I like to show off my 4th grade gymnastics skills and will gladly go into a handstand whenever the mood arises. This was at a Florida/Georgia game. Roughly 19 beers and 1/2 a bottle of Jack in. Slight exaggeration on the alcohol consumption. Feel free to scroll down to the "P" for another mega classy handstand pic. Go ahead. I'll wait right here.................mega classy, right?

I Italian everything. Italian food, clothing, culture, architecture, history, language, and my favorite...men. They really know how to treat their ladies.


J Jackie O. She had natural beauty, style, and grace. Plus that betch knew how to dress. Justin Timberlake. Easily one of the most talented men on this planet. He needs to be a full time on SNL, go on tour immediately, and star in a RomCom with Rachel McAdams. Just sayin. My little JBug. My baby nugget of a godson that I can't believe is sooooo big and full of personality. He's such a little ladies man. And the kid loves wearing high heels. Don't tell his Dad. Juicing. Recent obsession. My juicer is by far the most fun appliance in my kitchen.


K Kristen Bell. Also known as Sarah Marshall and the voice of Gossip Girl. She's one of the most sassy and underrated actresses in Hollywood. And who knew she loves sloths so much? Kayaking. Not saying I'm a pro or anything, but look what I caught on a kayak. Yes. That's a baby Hammerhead Shark. I also caught a Manta Ray, 2 crabs, and some weird fish all while floating along on the Intercoastal in a kayak. Ahhh, the life of a Florida Girl.




L Lions. Obvious one, being an ADPi and all. One goal I have in life is to buy a dog and shave it to look like a lion. Lil Wayne. My first rap love. There will always be a special place in my heart for you, tats, and syzurppp - just calm down a bit on that ish. Leo. Why must you die in every movie you're in? As long as it's only in the movies, Mr. DiCaprio.


M Movies. Even more specifically Mean Girls. I bet you probably could have guessed that I'm the Regina George of my friends. But that's only because my hair is insured for $10,000 and I just wanna lose 3 lbs. I'm working on obtaining my silver Lexus. Instead, I'll cruise around in my silver Altima with Shane Omen.

N Never Have I Ever. You will never learn more inappropriate things about another person so quickly than by playing this little game. It's also best to play with your besties, that way you can ruin their life if they ever decide to run for public office (PTA President included).

O OpenTable. Quite possibly the best website ever. Okay, one of the best. It singlehandidly brought back exclusivity by reinventing the reservation. Instead of the typical, annoying "Oh, I'm sorry the only open seats we have available for a party of 8 are at 4:30pm and 10pm", you simply sign online, look for availability and click a button. After so many reservations, they even give you money back. The only time you really encounter a problem is when you're trying to book a table for your party, and your bestie/boyfriend/grandmother also has an account and wants the points too.

P Pretty Little Liars. I know. I know. The plot is now absolutely ridiculous. Jason survived an elevator incident only to disappear from his hospital bed? There are multiple A's taking orders from girl in the red coat who might be dead Ali? Toby and Mona might be a thing while Spencer looks like she's been hit by a lovesick semi? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? ABC Family has about 4 more weeks until you lose me forever.  Pole Dancing. Don't give me that face, we already went over it in a previous post. But look how I worked a pole, even years ago (back in the Blonde Days).  Paris. I've never been, so I'm sure you're confused as to why it's on this list. Not only do I love crepes, croque monsieurs, and speak French but I have a bit of a fascination with the city and think we would get along parfaitement.


Q Queso. I'm still trying to figure out the best place in the city to consume my little obsession...I'll tell you where I won't be going to indulge: Chili's. Your queso is gross.

R RedBull (SugarFree preferably). I recently mixed SFRB with jello and vodka and made the most delicious jello shots known to man. Try it sometime. There was an incident during a RB event where I consumed roughly 12-15 SFRB's in a 12 hour sitting. I would highly advise against this. You live. You learn. You tone it down on the SFRB for a month so your friends don't think you have a problem. 

S Shoes - at one count in recent years, I had close to 100 pairs. I've since cleaned out and donated a good chunk of those, but still I'd guess I'm around 50-60. That's a pretty sick realization, isn't it. Skiing - a recent discovery. Feel free to read all about it in my previous post. Sour Candy. Preferably Sour Patch Kids or Shockers. A lesser known Willy Wonka brand candy. Most cringe at due to the mouth-puckeringly sour taste...I just love them. It's also really hard to find them at gas stations so please, by the entire case next time you see some. I'll pay you back, I swear. Sock Buns. The easiest and classiest way to do your hair in under 2 minutes. It's easier than straightening. You can dress it up or down. It looks like you put in a lot more effort than you actually did. My kind of hair accessory.

T Target. You can never make it out without purchasing 18 unnecessary items.

U The Original and Infamous - Ugly Cry Face. Originated in what can only be assumed June 1986. The UCF (ironic those are the initials) has brought laughter and joy to many. Here, as you can see are some prime examples of the UCF. If anyone has the up-close UCF of me at Mallard Ball 2006, please let me know. I'd like to burn it. I would also respectfully have to include my alma mater, the University of Central Florida (again, UCF) on the list. Thanks for the memories. And the $40k in student loan debt.

V Vampires. By far the sexiest of all supernatural creatures. And I'm not talking about Edward Cullen. For a brief moment, let's step back in time to the 90's. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Interview with a Vampire. These movies paved the way for Robert Pattinson to swoop in and steal all the "Hot Vampire" glory. Uhhhhh, as if! Brad...you will always be my first and fav vampire love. Wait. I take that back . True Blood. I can't even start, or else I will be fixated all day on Eric Northman. Speaking of vamps...anyone want to run this with me?

W The [wonderful] Wizard of Oz. That movie is "seriously one of my all time favorites, never gets old, will watch it every time it's on TBS...with commercials, yet I still don't own it" movies. Seriously can't wait for James Franco, Michelle Williams, and Mila Kunis in Oz.

X Nothing good begins with X. I feel like I supplied enough material to skip a letter. And if I have to pick something, The XX.


Y Yorkies. How can you not love these dogs. I have two, and then I've become the aunt to two. And I have a bit of an obsession. It's unhealthy I know. But look at that wittle puppy face! YouTube. There are FAR too many videos that I'm obsessed with...Jackie and Debra, The Sprinkles Kid, Sneezing Panda.

Z Zoo's. Sure they smell like shit and animals are in captivity, but if you ever need to shut a baby up, take them to the zoo. I have used this technique on multiple occasions. The funniest time was when little JBug decided he wanted to be an Otter and tried to get in the exhibit. Jokes on him, he couldn't crawl over the wooden fence. It was adorable though.

Now y'all know my [list of favorite's via the] ABC's...Next time won't you, ah screw it. Hope you enjoyed reading about me and my favorite things.

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