I had a very eye-opening experience last week. In fact other than work, it took up the majority of my week. Being the fabulously over-committed sorority advisor that I am, I offered to help with a huge chunk of the interviewing and slating for next years officer positions. Truth be told, I wish the current board would stay forever because I honestly love them dearly. Alas, they need to flutter into the world of med school and dental school and grad school and whatever higher
higher education they are going for. You'd think graduating from Emory with a 4.0 would be enough to land a stellar job, but no....you have to go a little further these days.
So as I'm sitting here listening to the future leaders of the sorority, campus, and beyond tell me why they'd make the
perfect candidate, I can't help but revert back to my 19 year old self. Here are some things I wish someone would have told me back in the day-
1. Being president of this, sitting on the exec board of that, and volunteering in your free time won't land you your dream job. Sure, it will teach you valuable skills like: delegation, respect, listening skills, organization, time management, prioritization, empathy, budgeting, etc....but do you really think you can put it on your resume and land a job? Most likely, not. It will damn sure help you get into grad school, but after that...highly unlikely any corporate real-world job will scoff at the fact you were Homecoming King & Queen Director or Morale Director for Dance Marathon. You can't have a resume filled to the brim with your extra-curricular activities, sorry.
2. Recruitment is not the most important thing to do over the summer...STUDY ABROAD! One of my biggest regrets in college was not studying abroad. I honestly thought sorority life would cease to exist if I was not there to run recruitment. I wish someone would have pulled my head out of my ass long enough to put me on a plane to Paris for the summer. C'est la vie.
3. Grad school will work for you under 2 circumstances - it's totally paid for by someone else or it's what you really, wholeheartedly want to do with the rest of your life. The very first day they said, "One of you will finish this program and do nothing related to psychology or counseling as a career". I had a funny feeling it might be me. Within the first two weeks of grad school, I knew that would be me. I stuck it out because my Dad reminded me it was
only two years of my life and the economy sucked. Both were true. Now as I make student loan payments, which I'm sure I'll be making for the next 20 years, I cringe. Did I mention, when you put that you have a M.A. on your resume, most places (that scream they want someone highly educated) won't even look at your resume because they think they'll have to pay you more? Nice Catch-22.
4. Internships will get your hired. Being in a leadership position you're treating as a makeshift internship will not. Being the PR Chair for your volunteer organization is not the same as working for a marketing firm handling their social media or special events. It's just not.
Speaking of internships....if you're in a field where you aren't getting paid for your time as an intern, that's a
red flag. Chances are, you will not make money when you have finished your internship and are ready to be hired. Case in point: I worked 20-30 hours/week for 3 semesters during grad school as a legit mental health counselor. Upon graduation, they wanted to hire me full time, making $26,000/year with no benefits working roughly 50 hours/week. I declined, respectfully of course. In total, they have asked 3 times. Yes, I'd be helping people but I'd also be forced to apply for welfare. Money doesn't mean everything to me, but when your student loans outweigh your prospective income, you just have to say no.
5. Psychology is a waste of a major unless you're really super into self-exploration. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful for finding out who you are, or why you are the way you are, or whatever. I learned a lot about myself, a lot about culture, and a lot about listening and empathy. However, psychology as a career....no. I chose it because I got A's in every psych class I took. And my uncle is a Psychologist and I thought it would be really cool. Then I went straight into a Clinical Psych Master's program, which unbeknownst to me was a Pre-PhD program. Half the people got accepted into programs, to which they are still in school racking up mounds of debt. Upon graduation, they'll need to be professors, clinical researchers, and publish just to stay afloat. Don't even get me started on mental health counselors. If you are considering this as a profession, I will fly to wherever you are and take you out to coffee to discuss alternative careers. I'm dead serious.
6. When they tell you a career is in "high demand" now, look elsewhere. In four years your "in high demand" field will be inundated with inexperienced recent college grads looking for their dream job, just like you. If I had to guess, I'd say 10% of you get hired. The other 90% will work outside their field or go to grad school. Or both.
7. Get a degree in something you're passionate about. And if your college doesn't offer a B.A. in Ancient Egyptian history and culture, get a business degree. That is without fail one of the best majors you can have. It allows you to do anything, if you can pass financial accounting. Not to sound cliche, but if you find something you love to do, the money will follow. You'll become an expert in your field and then all of a sudden people will pay you ridiculous amounts to do what you love. I'm still looking for someone to pay me insane amounts of money to be a blogging/crafting/pole-dancing queen....one can dream :)
8. Go to as many football games as possible. Or try to at the very least. When you've graduated and moved away, you'll crave the glory days when you'd wake up hungover from a killer Friday night out, throw on a cute sundress, oversized shades (the bigger the better), and your Vera Bradley/Longchamp backpack filled with Bud Light and head to your favorite frat house to pregame 8 hours before kickoff. So what if you need to head home and take a power nap between half time and the end of the game? At least you have the experience, and some memories thanks to your besties constant muploads on various social media sites. You'll want it once it's gone.
9. Dress up as much as you possibly can in college. Post college, it loses a lot of it's fun and acceptability. Unless you're having a themed birthday with 50 of your closest friends or bachelorette party, you can't rock 90's gear in public on a Tuesday evening. You'll just look odd.
10. For the love of all that is holy, if you break up once...stay broken up. Nobody likes the yo-yo couple and rarely do you work out. If you break up, there's a good reason for it. Don't waste 4 years of your life on someone who makes you miserable, jealous, insecure, vulnerable,
crazy, etc...
I like to live life without regrets. So please don't think I'm looking back at my college career and cringing. These are just things I'd love to tell someone who is just starting out in college. Some final food for thought...Enjoy the moments you have being a young adult, when your biggest problem in life is figuring out what you're wearing to the "Used to Be Cool" social next week. You will find some of your best friends in college so make sure to enjoy the time you have together, before you move away and start your life - airfare ain't cheap. And start saving for weddings...you'll have a lot to go to, so prepare well in advance! That's about all the life lessons I can dole out for now.
Until next time,
L
Ever since I was little, my very favorite Disney movie was Alice in Wonderland. I was blonde, loved talking in an English accent, and identified with Alice's curiosity with getting lost in a different world. She was always looking for adventure, and that damned white rabbit. Plus, she was kind of a betch. I could totes relate.
Naturally, I just KNEW I had to rep a character from Wonderland. Cheshire Cat was a solid choice, and in preparation, I put these bad boys on my Christmas list (thanks Momma Bear and Black Milk Clothing). However, Alice is my soul sista. If I'm running 13.1 miles at the Happiest Place on Earth, you better believe I'm doing it dressed as Alice. Huge shoutout to my talented friend Loren at Gameday Bows for my finishing touch, the white bow...it made the outfit.
Fast forward to Sunday, February 22nd. Alarm was set for 2am. Around midnight I was still tossing and turning, half excited and half completely terrified. I decided to mentally run all 13.1 miles to put myself to sleep. I visualized crossing each mile marker and gave myself verbal cues. I was soon fast asleep. Everyone says distance running is more mental than physical. And after this race, I believe it. My brain remembered the visualization from the night before, I smiled the entire race, every time there were people on the side, I instinctively ran on that side so I could get high fives and read the encouraging signs. My body could have given out at mile 2 from all the walking the days leading up to it, but my mind...nope she was dead set on finishing. Look how excited I was to be at Mile 11!
As crazy as it sounds, I think I could do it again. Not anytime in the near future, but yeah, I could definitely do it again. A wise woman once said (spoiler alert, it's Alice), "sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Never was that more true than on the morning of my first half marathon. Crossing this off my list.
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